I woke up this morning and you were not there. My three day affair was much too short. I miss the early morning bite of cold air, the angled and uneven streets, the brownstones, the history, the open air markets, the T, the restaurants, the ocean, the refined essence. Unfortunately, this return home makes me yearn for something more. I feel as if I am not in the right place.
I want to be in a cultured city, near all the adventure, taking the metro places to meet with friends for a late night chat over some wine and tapas. In Phoenix, or Peoria rather... that is not the case. We drive everywhere, which means responsibility when going out on the town. It takes over 30 minutes driving to get places, you cannot walk or take a metro. It is overwhelmingly huge and modern. The positives seem to lay around the city, various superb restaurants or cute winery destinations, but the valley is missing charm.
The trip to Boston was short and sweet; however, it leaves a lingering feeling that reminds me that I still have yet to find the place I want to be long term. Or maybe I will always be a nomad, staying two to three years in a place and moving on. This brings up many questions.... Should I start applying to jobs elsewhere? What about the house I just purchased with my significant other last year? I love that I can always walk outsite. Would my partner move with? How would I pay for the cost of living in a much more expensive urban-vintage center. How would I move my belongings? But I love my job and my coworkers here, would I be able to find that company culture elsewhere? If I stay with my job long-term would it pay out despite the fact that there is no 401k or possibility to grow within the company because I am at the highest position I could possibly be at already? Would Giles and I be able to hack it in the snow?!
One thing I do know for sure is that Home is where Giles is. He certainly would look adorable anywhere we live. For now, I will just ponder.